Marriage:
This is a compilation of Prof.
Morrie’s experiences in his life shared in the book “Tuesdays’ with Morrie”. In this book, Morrie talks about Death,
Marriage, Forgiveness, Aging, Fear, Greed, Society etc. to his ex-student
called Mitch.
This blog is a continuation of blog series on Life.
Let’s
first hear from Professor Morrie about Marriage and my views on marriage
follows.
“Well, I feel sorry for your generation,” Morrie
said. “In this culture, it’s so important to find a loving relationship with
someone because so much of the culture does not give you that. But the poor
kids today, either they’re too selfish to take part in a real loving
relationship, or they rush into marriage and then six months later, they get
divorced. They don’t know what they want in a partner. They don’t know who they
are themselves—so how can they know who they’re marrying?”
Mitch (his Student) asks “Is there some kind of
rule to know if a marriage is going to work?”
Morrie smiled. “Things are not that simple,
Mitch” he said. “Still, there are a few rules I know to be true about love and
marriage”. We will look at those rules at the end of this chapter.
Almost everyone has a problem with marriage. Some
are unable to get a partner for marriage, while, some are unable to cope-up
with it. For any relationship to get-going there must be some values common to
the partners. Some of those values are:
1.
Institution of Marriage
o Belief
o Duty
o Trust
2.
Thoughts on Money
Institution of Marriage: I personally feel that marriage
is important. In the animal kingdom, there is no concept called marriage. They
act in accordance with nature’s destiny. Script cannot be altered. But in case
of Humans, there are certain sets of values, which include the Institution
called Marriage. Unless there is a strong belief in this institution, mutually
concerning duties and trust on each other, the relationship may not sustain. In
lay man language, Institution of Marriage is like a pillar around which kids
play. If the grip is lost, its effects will be awful. So, guys, hold on to the
pillar come what may, end result would always be joyful.
If the spouse gives
importance to money over all other aspects of life thinking that money will do
“EVERYTHING”, then it is a trouble. I don’t say money is not important. But, we
cannot build relationships through money. The relationship will not long last
or it will be a pain to keep that relationship going. The point is to strike a
balance between money and life. To decide HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH is important.
If you have money for your needs and requirements,
then the money will save / protect you. If you accumulate wealth just to show
off your status, you have to protect the money. Subsequently, you will lose the
mental peace.
According to Professor Morrie following are the
important rules for Marriage.
o If you don’t respect the
other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.
o If you don’t know how to
compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.
o If you can’t talk openly
about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.
o And if you don’t have a
common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values
must be alike.
According
to Hindu Marriage the following are the factors and Attainment of the following
are the main object of a married life:
1.
Dharma – Righteousness
2.
Artha –Wealth
3.
Kama – Desire and
4.
Moksha – Salvation or
liberation
A man is only half of a whole unless he is
married. Marriage is also essential according to Hindu scriptures because only
by entering a matrimonial alliance with opposite sex, a man can enter into Grahsthaskram
(Meaning “Family life”) and it is only this Asharma where he is allowed to
practice Dharma, Artha, Kama and Mokhsa.
According to me everything / everyone who comes
to this Earth will perish one day. But, the question is, what is the path to be
followed? We have many paths (live in relationship or marriage). But I
personally prefer / suggest that the above said Family Life is the path.
I end this
chapter with the statement made my Jesus
“…so they
are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not
separate” - Jesus.
Just try the
following with an effort. You will not be able to succeed. 
